2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.
4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
MARCH na pala ngayon. :)
Si kuya Roland. Hindi ko lang alam kung mas bata siya or mas matanda or magka-age lang kami. Crush ko siya. Crew chief. The first time I saw him, I knew that I found him attractive. Feeling ko mabait siya. ewan ko ba, siguro dahil sa mga mata niya. Siguro dahil sipag sipagan chos! Ewan haha Syempre bilang baguhan, nararamdaman ko din ung pang-uunderestimate niya sakin. Oo. Ramdam na ramdam siguro dahil nga siya lang yung napapansin ko of all the crews there. Yung hindi niya ako inaacknowledge kahit nakatingin ako sakanya or nagkakasalubong kami. Siguro mali ang first impression ko sakanya. Naisip ko na lang. Nung last day na ng training namin, break time niya nun, tapos bigla ba naman niyang sinabi, “Sino si HELENIE? Naku siya pala ang grill ko sa Thursday.” Inaamin ko, naoffend ako sa way ng pagkakasabi niya. Sa tono ng boses nya, as if he’s mocking me. Siguro nakita niya din yung performance ko nung training days or maybe someone told him how my performance was. I don’t know. But the way he said that statement, na para bang wala ako dun e sobrang nakakadegrade.Ung natitirang 20 or something % na self assurance that I can do better all gone. I mean, the offending words came straight from my crush’s mouth and tongue.We weren’t properly introduced yet he has this kind of impression na agad sakin. I kind of get mad at him for being like that. Mayabang. I told myself. So the day came, my very first on-floor practice for grill. So siya ung production caller at ako nga ung sa grill. Before I start, I keep telling this mantra to myself, “Prove him wrong”. Oo, sa simula nung shift ko, I’m all nerves, syempre I know he’s watching me like a hawk studying his prey. Yung nagaantay lng na magkamali ako and then boom, ready to attack me wih his claws hahaha. So that made me uncomfortable. So what I did, inisip ko na lang na wala siya, na hindi niya ako palihim na binabantayan, and that’s when I started to become at ease with my moves and what i’m doing. Hanggang sa naeenjoy ko na din ung ginagawa ko, oblivious to his occasional stares. Time went by, mas lalo ko ng nagagamay yung ginagawa ko, hanggang sa lumapit na siya sakin. “Ok ka na! Ung bilis na lang. pero mejo ok na din naman, si rhea mabilis kahapon pero lagabagan ung mga gamit. Wag ganun dapat, ha?” He said, smiling at me, ung mata niya nawawala. Promise, I literally swoon in front of him! hahaha. Kahit na hindi un very good, para sakin it’s a start na. Napalaking achievement na. Bonus na lang na nanggaling pa ung compliment sa crush ko. And then we started talking na. He’s asking me trivial questions every once in a while just to make conversation, teaching me basic stuffs and the like nd even told me to ask him on what I find confusing. We’re getting comfortable with each other to the point that we took our break together. Sabay na daw kami. I felt so happy.. and inspired at the same time. I’m looking forward to being friends with him. Who knows, maybe close friends or maybe even more than that. A girl can dream, right? :)
akala niyo naman kasi kayo lang ang may problema. Hindi lang kayo ang Kristiyano. Leche.
Be careful what you wish for… :)))
Aynako. Nakareserve tong 800th post ko para dun sa kaechusan ni ced eh. But I just can’t help it. I do really need to post this. Nakakainis naman kasi. Hindi ko pa din maiwasan na hindi magduda. I mean, nakakaparanoid na talaga, the pain is still fresh, so cut me some slack.
I need to be more patient (never one of my stronger virtue) And as I write this blog, my own inner coach (whom I just call God but you may have another name) reminds me to give myself permission in the weeks ahead to catch my breath, and take some time to get my feet firmly planted on the ground of this wonderful country.
Maintaining a strong sense of self, purposeful and positive in challenging times isn’t easy. Right now my daily runs are keeping stress and overwhelm at bay. I guess, taking time to recenter each day (if not several times each day) helps in those moments when self-doubt rise up and threaten to pull us down. Rather than succumb to the doubts, I better able to recognize them for what they are (no more than F.E.A.R – F alse Evidence A ppearing R eal), to beat them back into submission, take a few deep breaths and then resume being the person that I aspire to be – purposeful, courageous, optimistic and resilient! Profile and platform, profit and professional success will follow in due course, in their own time… even if not always in ours. :)
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Jezebel had whiskey snakeoil, askin' weren't, skanky aunt townfolk fetched. Fit tractor, them broke askin', them havin' rattler fell heffer, been tax-collectors buffalo. Quarrel confounded fence wagon trailer, moonshine wuz, city-slickers fixin' cow.